Charles Bernstein
Charles Bernstein (born April 4, 1950) is an American
Poet, Theorist, Editor, and Literary Scholar. Bernstein
holds the Donald T. Regan Chair in the Department of
English at the University of Pennsylvania. He is one
of the most prominent members of the Language poets.
In 2006 he was elected a Fellow of the American Academy
of Arts and Sciences. In 2005, Bernstein was awarded
the Dean's Award for Innovation in Teaching at the
University of Pennsylvania. He has also been a Visiting
Professor at Columbia University and Princeton University.
Author photo: Cecilia Grönberg for OEI
Lenny Paschen Redux
What’s the matter with you?
What’s the matter with you?
Did time shove your face in sealing wax?
You never looked so blue.
Nothing better to do?
Nothing better to do?
Go stick your head in the microwave
Till there’s nothing left but goo.
Sometimes we all need a friend
A guy who’ll see us round the bend
Someone who’s always there
To push us down the stair
Or out the door, into the cold night air
Wanna sniff some glue?
I do do you?
Then hit ourselves with a two-by-four
Till we know what’s true —
Joint Dark Energy Mission
plunges & remains submerged
plunges & expires
plunges & resurfaces
plunges & liquidates
plunges & flips
plunges & fails to accelerate
plunges & separates
plunges & returns
plunges & transmogrifies
plunges & tilts
plunges & disintegrates
plunges & beckons
plunges & bellows
plunges & cracks
plunges & disappears
plunges & aborts
plunges & splinters
plunges & disarms probe
plunges & tears
plunges & spins
plunges & sputters
plunges & sinks
plunges & diffuses
plunges & de-pixilates
plunges & melts
plunges & transmigrates
plunges & powers off
plunges & combusts
plunges & hits bottom
plunges & drifts
plunges & mimes
plunges & militates
plunges & mutates
plunges & remains
plunges & ascends
plunges & despairs
plunges & pirouettes
plunges & regrets
plunges & gets scared
plunges & allures
plunges & detours
plunges & descends
plunges & makes amends
plunges & distorts
plunges & reports
plunges & repeats
plunges & spirals
plunges & sweats
plunges & tires
plunges & warps
plunges & accelerates
plunges & explodes
plunges & demagnetizes
plunges & dematerializes
plunges & weeps
plunges & reperfuses
plunges & turns blue
plunges & detonates
plunges & detoxifies
plunges & festers
plunges & bends
plunges & bifurcates
plunges & bewilders
plunges & sways
plunges & swells
plunges & bursts
plunges & hurts
plunges & deflates
plunges & replicates
plunges & rips
plunges & multiplies
plunges & remains submerged
So What
This is so & so is this
But neither is important.
That is theirs
And is isn’t near
& neither’s important
Never the twain, never the time
To weep, to sleep, to slay.
But neither is important.
{untitled: “Rabbi Eliza …”}
Rabbi Eliza would always say, Which
comes first, the egg or the idea? as a way
to stop a conversation she felt was coming too
soon to a conclusion. One very hot afternoon,
Rabbi Omar asked Rabbi Eliza to trace the origins
of her favorite maxim. “In a roundabout way,”
Rabbi Eliza began, looking up from the passage
she was studying, “it’s related,
to Rabbi Yukel’s so-called Rule of the Index
Finger: Don’t put all your chickens in one
egg,
which itself is a variant of the saying, attributed
to Rabbi Raj, and which we chant on the first half
moon of Winter, One egg is not
the world.” On hearing
this, Rabbi Omar loudly protested, noting that several
centuries before Rabbi Raj, Rabbi Not-Enough-Sand-in-Desert-not-Enough-Water-in-the-Sea
had insisted that the central question to ponder on
nights-without-visible-rainbows is Which
comes first the basket or the idea of the basket?. “Exactly,” Rabbi
Eliza said with a triumphant laugh, “without
baskets or eggs we would only have words and without
words only mouths.”
Warning: Drinking Alcoholic
Beverages During Pregnancy
Can Cause Birth Defects
It’s broken, are you happy
now? You’re gonna poke
someboy’s eye out with
that thing. STOP IT! STOP IT!
(See what I told you, Marv?)